


An eye for an eye, a soul for a soul

by luxshine



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-19
Updated: 2011-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-18 09:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxshine/pseuds/luxshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander was badly hurt during one of Buffy's patrols, and Anya wants revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An eye for an eye, a soul for a soul

**Author's Note:**

> If you like Buffy and Willow, stay out of this, they aren't well treated. This story deals with Character deaths (Yes, that's a plural), and graphic violence.
> 
> Although I'm quite proud of some of the moments of this fic (And I have to give credit where credit is due. The Willow scene was inspired by my then beta Gaby Maya), I'm not exactly proud of the fact that it's my most obvious character bashing fic.
> 
> Now, Season 4 finished long ago, and having had more contact with some of Xander's more vocal defenders, I'm actually quite surprised I wrote this.
> 
> This was written in october, 2000

**X**

ander slept peacefully.

          At least, that was what the ex-demon of vengeance hoped, watching her lover in the hospital bed, tied to a thousand strange machines that monitored each heartbeat, forcing the young man to breathe.

          There was nothing wrong with him physically, not since Buffy had finally decided to attack the Indian spirit that had infected Xander with a thousand illnesses. But then Willow had turned him into a demon magnet before he could heal properly, and one of the evil creatures hadn't been coaxed away when the spell was broken.

          Now Xander's body was too weak to go on.

          Everyone had given up on him now.

          Everyone but Anya, who visited him every day. Who used her contacts to keep him in the hospital in a private room, even when he had no insurance.

          Who kept hoping.

          And plotting.

          Even when she was no longer a demon, she still had some cards up her sleeve.

          She would avenge her love.

          With those thoughts in mind, she left the room. Ready to show Sunnydale the true meaning of vengeance.

* * *

          Willow left the college library, very aware that it was too late and that it could be dangerous outside.

          But since Buffy and the mysterious commando boys had managed to keep the vampire population at bay, it wasn't as dangerous as it had been in the past.

"Hey, Wills." Xander's voice interrupted her thoughts, and she turned around to see her friend. He was standing near one of the park benches, wearing a pair of faded jeans and one of his most ugly shirts that his mother had bought, almost a year ago. It was even baggier than the others, making him look like a kid wearing handmedowns from his older brother.

"Xander?!" She asked, surprised. Even when she hadn't been able to visit him, she knew that Anya would have told her if there were any changes on his condition. Sure, he looked thinner, as if he had lost the muscle he had won over the summer... And pale. But his goofy smile hadn't changed, even when it gave way to a confused frown since she didn't came closer.

"Willow, what's wrong?" He looked at his back, as if expecting a demon attack. When he realized there was no one, he stepped closer, smiling again. "C'mon, Wills. I just got out of the hospital, with a complete bill of health. Don't I deserve a hug?"

          That was enough to break her defenses. Willow raced to Xander's arms, hugging him fiercely. She was glad to see him again, glad to see that one constant on her life hadn't disappeared. Her rock when things got rough was back at his side. "When did you got out? Why didn't you call?"

"You know my parents." He answered, flippantly. There was a strange gleam in his eyes, but before she could comment on it, he smiled, and the eeriness disappeared from his face. "Hey, did you managed to check the new witchcraft wing at the museum?"

          Willow shook her head, a little surprised. She couldn't remember having told Xander about that, and it was weird for him to be interested in magic.

          But he didn't let her dwell on that. He pulled her closer and led her towards the museum. It wasn't until they reached the closed doors when she hesitated again.

"We... We could come back tomorrow..." She offered, stammering upon seeing his sad face. "I mean..."

"C'mon, Wills!" He pleaded again. She almost felt herself transported back to highschool, before she became a witch, before demons, vampires and Buffy. "When was the last time I had you all for myself?"

"I know a spell to open doors..." She admitted, shyly, but ready. After all, she had done it before, when the whole thing in Thanksgiving happened.

          Once inside, they went straight to the wing dedicated to witchcraft. Willow ooed and aaed through all the historical stuff, but Xander's eyes were glued to the center of the exhibition: a confessional chair, a torture bed... and a real iron maiden.

          The tools of punishment and vengance of old times.

"You're lucky we live in the 20th century, Wills. Those look painful." He said in a loud voice, calling her attention.

"A real witch would have been able to free herself." She bragged, full of confidence. "They executed innocent widows and old midwifes."

"I bet you couldn't free yourself that easily..." Xander mused jokingly, but Willow didn't miss the challenge tone in his voice. She looked at the awful bed, a machine used to stretch a person's limbs until all her bones broke, and her inner organs were damaged beyond repair, all without a second thought.

          After all, it was just a bet.

"Take the time." She joked, jumping to lay on the wood bed, waiting patiently for Xander to close the wrist handlers.

          She didn't notice the speed with which he secured her to the machine, his almost expert way of handling the leather straps, chains and locks. She didn't even thought something was wrong until he made the wheel turn slightly, and her muscles stretched, catching her unaware and making her yelp in surprise and pain.

"Xander!" She gasped, turning to see him. He was still smiling, only that now the smile was not so goofy, and definitively not innocent. "What...?"

"I just thought I would make it more interesting. I didn't want to hurt you, Wills."

          He was lying, and Willow knew it. Her friend's voice didn't sound any different, but she knew he was not telling the truth. Xander _had_ tried to hurt her. And she had played right into his game.

"Don't... please..." She breathed with some difficulty. He tilted his head, as if not understanding her at all. "Don't... lie..."

"Oh!" Xander looked wounded for an instant, before activating the stretching mechanism again, making her arms stretch more, her legs burn with pain. "Why not? You do it all the time."

"Xan..." Willow plead was broken as she was stretched a little more, fire burning her lungs and throat, tears running down her cheeks. She tried to close her eyes, but he grabbed her head forcefully, making her look at him.

          Between scared sobs, she realized that his hands were terribly cold.

"Don't do that, Wills... Or I'll think that you're weak. " He admonished her. She nodded, not taking her eyes away from his, trying to see anything that told her that she was still talking with her friend, and not with a madman who had taken his face. He held her like that for a long time, caressing her skin, reveling in her soft shakes. Finally, he let her go, and walked to the wheel, taking his shirt off.

          Between tears, Willow could see that there were no scars on his skin, and that he was terribly pale, as if he hadn't seen the sun in a long time.

"Xander... I'm sorry..." She sobbed, trying to prepare herself for the next tug. "I'm really sorry... I never meant to..."

"Mean to what?" Xander's voice still was a soft caress, but his eyes had turned harder, colder. "Why are you apologizing, Wills? What did you do now?"

          She hesitated in her answer, so he tightened the wheel more, making her scream. She could feel her knees going numb, her wrist's skin shredding under pressure. But the pull didn't ease, didn't ebb away. The ache only imbedded itself on her muscles, in her bones.

          Xander shook his head sadly, and took off his leather belt. The only piece of clothing that looked strange to Willow. "Can't say I don't enjoy hearing you cry, Wills. But keep it quiet. You don't want to annoy me."

          The witch nodded, gulping her sobs in her throat. She had never seen Xander being so cruel, reveling so much in torturing someone... In her suffering. She wanted to wake up, to find herself in the safety of her room with Buffy... Away...

"I didn't want to believe it was true... " Xander began, as he made the buckle of his belt trail a shy line across Willow's thigh, making her shiver despite the pain. "... That you could cause me pain, or that you would act as if I didn't exist. I kinda hoped you were more like my Willow... I know you like the same things as her..." The buckle was replaced by a hand, that moved in the same path that Oz's hands had once memorized, stopping only in Willow's favorite places. Then, when she was starting to believe that he might let her go, when her breathing became steadier, he stopped, and turned the wheel just one more notch, adding more pain to the brief pleasure. "She used to like this, begged me for more until her throat was sore. Can you do that for me, Wills?"

"Who are you talking about?" She gasped, her voice breaking, just like her bones that were finally loosing the battle. "Xander, what happened to you?"

"I was hoping you could answer that, Wills." The goofy grin reappeared, but now Willow could see it for the mask it was, and wondered why she handn't noticed before. Then, he was touching her again, drawing little circles in her thigh and stomach. "Why was I in the ICU room, Wills? Why did I look more dead than alive?"

"It was... an accident..." Willow tried to defend herself, unwilling to voice the blame she knew was hers. "We thought we could talk to the spirit..."

"A spirit didn't do that kind of damage, Wills." Xander draw back his hand, whipping her breasts with the leather belt, hard enough to make her tense skin burn. "You're lying to me. And you know I hate liars."

          A last turn of the wheel, and Willow could hear her knees pop out, her shoulders break. It was a hollow sound, rather insignificant compared to her scream.

          And then it was over, the tension disappeared, and Xander was opening the straps.

          She was too weak, too scared to move. Too grateful of being alive. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." She sobbed continuously, trying to forget the pain, the fear.

"Is not that easy, Wills." Xander admonished, and lifted her effortlessly.

          She closed her eyes for a second, as he put her on something that felt cold and narrow. She kept herself in the darkness, as he gagged her with the belt, still frozen with terror.

"You could have been my world, Wills." He whispered in her ear, and for a moment, she almost could forget the past hour, the fear and pain. "Open your eyes now. We're almost done."

          She obeyed him, thankful that the nightmare was about to end.

          The last thing she saw were the metal spikes of the iron maiden closing upon her.

* * *

          Buffy watched as the casket containing her best friend's body was lowered to the ground. The funeral was small, but all those who loved Willow were there, to bid her the last farewell.

          All but Xander, who still lay comatose in a ICU room.

          Riley Finn, her boyfriend, hugged her, offering what little comfort he could.

          But it was not enough.

          It would never be enough.

* * *

          Giles sighed, as he came down the stairs for the umpteenth time from checking Spike's chains and feed the vampire. He had been listening to Anya's complains all afternoon and although the ex-Watcher would never admit it, the blonde vampire was a welcome change.

          He barely heard her voice when she promised to come back later, and the door closing, before he entered the bathroom.

          As it was becoming routine for him, he didn't listen to Spike's barbs, immersed in thoughts. A week had passed since Willow's death, and he still couldn't shake the guilt out of his head.

          The poor girl had been tortured and executed as a witch, left to bleed to death inside an iron maiden. And Giles couldn't help but wonder if, by encouraging her occult studies, he wasn't the one to be blamed.

"Blood in the fridge... I'm shocked Giles..." Xander came out of the kitchen, carrying a blood bag in one hand, and a crossbow in the other. He was completely dressed in black leather, except for the white cotton shirt. He was also wearing a golden earring in his right lobule and a silver chain around his neck. "...It's not proper for a white hat."

"Xander..." Unlike Willow, Giles didn't let his heart cloud his mind. Anya hadn't told him that Xander was out of the hospital, and there was something strange on the boy, something more than his new clothes.

          Xander smirked, amused. "You were never a fool, old man..." He shook his head and with amazing speed raised the crossbow and shoot, piercing Giles's left shoulder and sending him to the floor. "... But you were always a little careless..."

"What...?" His arm was going numb, but even so Giles tried to get back to his feet. "What are you doing?"

"Torturing you." Two more bolts were fired, one piercing the older man's right leg, the other his left hand. "Extracting revenge." Left knee, right arm. "Killing time, since the bolts are poisoned and you'll die anyway. Why do you ask?"

"What happened to you?" The ex-Watcher asked, stumbling backwards. He knew that he was not dealing with Xander Harris, but with a demon who had taken his appearance. Now, he was only calculating the possibilities of surviving long enough to warn Buffy.

"I've got a few theories. Willow helped me to get an idea." The boy answered, kneeling to Giles's eye level. Up close, the older man could see that 'Xander' looked younger than his friends, as when they had meet, four years ago. "A pissed out ghost infected me with everything he could. An idiot witch cursed me. I suspect a demon broke my spine, but I could be mistaken about that. But it's not news to you, is it? You _saw_ it all."

"You're not Xander... You cannot be him..." Giles spat, still trying to be defiant even when he felt his blood going cold, his muscles freezing. His time was running out, and that was why the creature risked coming so close.

"Oh, but I am, old white hat." Xander smiled, placing his cold hands on the Watcher's shoulders. "Just think of me as the new, improved model."

          Xander's face shifted, revealing his true vampiric nature. But Giles didn't have time to react, as the vampire swiftly broke his neck.

* * *

          Giles's funeral was smaller than Willow's and Buffy couldn't help but shiver in the sunny December afternoon. Her Watcher hated that weather, and that was all she could think about.

          Riley was again at her side, but he had enough worries of his own to be much support. His two best friends, Graham and Forrest, were missing.

          She knew they were drifting away, and couldn't stop it. After all, their worlds were too different.

          And when he realized that, she would be completely alone.

          Giles and Willow were gone.

          Even Spike was gone. Whoever who had used Giles as a pincushion had finished the job, and all that was left of the blonde vampire were the chains, resting on a pile of dust.

          There was no one to help her anymore.

* * *

          Xander surveyed his work, filled with pride. It had been a while since he had had the opportunity of break a human, and thus, he was enjoying himself greatly.

          After getting rid of the Watcher, he had discovered a vampire chained to the tube. Spike, his name was, and he had _laughed_ at Xander.

"So the whelp got teeth..." Spike had said, smirking. "It doesn't matter, Harris. The commandos will hunt you, and you won't be able to bite anymore. Or Slutty will kill you, especially if you hurt the Watcher."

"She's welcome to try." Xander had grinned then, lifting his crossbow and enjoying the look of terror in the other vampire's face.

          Once warned, however, the matter of the 'Initiative' was easily solved. There had been a similar attempt in his world, and Xander remembered it quite well.

          Gaining the town's vampires's trust hadn't been that easy. But he was the Master's favorite, sired by Darla and the Master themselves, and he used that to his advantage.

          In this Masterless world, he would become the new Master.

          As he had always intended to be in his world.

          Ambushing the patrol, knowing about their methods, had been child's play. Seven soldier boys hadn't been a challenge against twelve organized vampires.

          The Inititative 'security' hadn't offered much resistance against twenty vampires, seven of which had been trained by them.

          He walked on the aisle, surveying the carnage. There were dead bodies everywhere, painting the metal floor red. Only a very small handful had been selected to be turned, because Xander didn't want to overpopulate Sunnydale; a few soldiers, the doctors capable of undoing and doing the chip operations. The rest where food, or toys for Xander's new army of vampires and demons.

          The cells were now empty, except for one. The last one of the aisle, where Riley Finn lay unconscious. Xander had been very clear on his orders of not damaging the mortal permanently. That was his right.

"Why is he still alive?" Anya asked, in the whinny tone he had come to hate. True, she had saved his life by pulling him out of his universe before the Slayer staked him, offered him a whole new world to terrorize... but she lacked any sense of finesse. "He should die now."

"I don't want him dead." Xander looked at her, licking his blood stained lips. Then, he turned his eyes to the figure huddled in the cage. The soldier was half-naked and covered in human blood. Xander grinned, already planning how to break the mortal's soul.

          He wanted a new puppy.

"You said that all would die!" The demoness pouted. "You _promised_!!"

          Xander sighed, shifting to his game face. "Don't worry, girl. I'll keep my word. Those who hurt me will die... But I decide when and how..."

* * *

          Buffy lay in her bed, crying.

          In just two weeks, her life had become a nightmare. After Giles'ss funeral, Riley had disappeared. The Rosenbergs were killed in a car accident. The Harris's house had burned down, with them inside.

          Faith's throat had been sliced open in her sleep before she even had the chance to wake up.

          Xander was still comatose.

          Angel had called, to tell her that Cordelia had died, victim of a Polgarah demon.

          Then, the box had arrived.

          It was a small velvet case, wrapped as a gift with a drawing of her, asleep. Inside it, resting on a crimson cushion, there were two human eyes.

          Giles's eyes.

          Then she knew who the killer was.

          The only fiend evil enough to do that.

          So she called Angel, sobbing, begging for him to come and help her.

          She was waiting for him, expecting him in any moment. In her left pocket, ready at hand, Mr. Pointy was hidden.

          Angelus couldn't suspect that she knew.

          And this time, she would have no mercy.

* * *

"I can't believe you did it."

          Buffy turned around, her eyes widening with surprise as she saw the leather duster encased figure before her. The piercing blue eyes, the dyed blonde hair.

"Spike?!"

          The vampire didn't seem to hear her, his eyes fixed on the pile of dust at her feet. "Can't say I'm gonna miss the pouf, but I'm impressed that you had the guts to stake him."

"How... when..." Buffy stammered for a second before recovering from shock. "You're alive!!"

          Spike made a show of looking at himself, then shrugged. Before he could move further, however, she threw herself against him, Mr. Pointy right over his heart.

"I know you didn't kill Giles, The chip won't let you hurt anyone. But if you're here now, that means you know the killer. And unless you wanna get close and personal with Mr. Pointy here, you will take me to him!" She growled, confident that the chip gave her the advantage.

          She never expected to feel a sting on her breasts, nor the dizziness that filled her as Spike stood up, showing her an hypothermic needle.

"Nothing personal, luv. But it was the prize to get the sodding chip off."

* * *

          Buffy opened her eyes grudgingly, to find herself chained to a burnt wall.

          It was a very small room that had been swept by a fire. A basement, where she could still see the remains of a comfy chair, a washing machine, a kitchen.

          It was a room she knew.

          Xander's room.

          And just like the last time she had been there, Xander was lying on the bed, watching her intently.

"Good to see you're awake," He said, his voice very serious. "I don't want you to miss a thing."

"When... How..." She spat, still dizzy thanks to whatever Spike had injected her. "...Why...?"

"I thought it was appropriate." He shrugged, standing up. "Here's where everything began." Buffy blinked, not understanding, and he finally walked to her side, to caress her cheek and neck. "Here's where Anya found 'me' almost delirious thanks to the syphilis. Here's where Willow did her idiotic mojo and made 'me' attract demons. Where you always showed you don't care." He stopped, holding her face so she could see him shift to game face. "Here's where Anya did the spell to bring me from my own universe."

"Who... are you...?!" She demanded, even when she had no strength left. Whatever that was in her veins was a very potent stuff.

"You know who am I, Slayer. I'm Xander. Your friend. Your _**Zeppo.**_ "

          He shifted again, and the terrified Buffy could see that it was true... The creature of darkness that had her chained didn't just wear Xander's face. He really was Xander. A dark, evil version of the friend who always made her laugh.

"You... you killed them all... you made me... kill... Angel... Why?"

"I guess I could say that Anya asked me to..." He grinned, shrugging his shoulders. "But she ain't saying much these days." He turned away, and Buffy followed his eyes to a corner she hadn't noticed before. Resting there, in a small bar table, was Anya's head, her lips sewed shut. "I wish I could stay and chat longer, Buffy, but I have other things to do... I just wanted to say that you shouldn't worry much about Riley... He still doesn't like to kill his food, but at least he now accepts raw meat. He'll make a good vampire when I decide to turn him, but in the mean time, I promise I'll take good care of my pet."

          The last words were whispered against her neck, and Buffy couldn't answer. Her furious yell died on her throat as she felt two fangs piercing her skin, and her life ebbing away from her body.

* * *

          The ICU room was enveloped in darkness, the only light was the one coming from the machines hooked to the body on the bed, the ones keeping him alive.

          But that wasn't a problem for Xander. Ever since he had died, four years ago in his own universe, his night sight was almost perfect.

          Still, he wished he couldn't see his mortal self in the bed, so hurt, so vulnerable.

          After Anya had brought him over, she had insisted on visiting the hospital so he could see the reason of her anger.

          It had been a mistake of her part.

          If Xander hadn't seen himself as he had been so long ago, alive, mortal, innocent... he might had done what she wanted and leave. But upon seeing the abuse, much worse than anything he had suffered in his own world, he had changed his mind.

          No one would ever again hurt his mortal self.

          No one would threaten the innocence he had lost long ago.

          Now that he controlled the Initiative headquarters and all the demon population of Sunnydale owed him a favor, that would be easily accomplished. It was thanks to that that he had been able to eliminate Cordelia, the bitch who had broken his mortal's self heart, without leaving town.

          And it was also the thing that had removed Spike's threat to his authority. The strongest of Angelus' childes had accepted to leave after the chip had been removed from his brain.

          His mortal self, his innocent soul, was safe.

          Xander walked closer to the bed, and leaned down to kiss the sleeping mortal's forehead with sweet tenderness... A gentleness that no one would never ever, will be allowed to see in the young Master vampire.

"Sleep safely, my soul." He whispered resting his head over Xander's heart. "I'll watch over your dreams."


End file.
